It was 2:30 in the morning and I had just returned from a week-long trip. The last stop I made before home was a hole-in-the-wall Lousianna rest stop where I ate the best gumbo of my life. Once home, I went to the bathroom, haphazardly brushed my teeth, and crawled into bed with my husband whom I had been anxious to see. We talked for a bit, cuddled, and I told him about the things I had been reflecting on during my time away. I had been thinking about the importance of marriage, how much I appreciated my husband, and how I didn't want to get so uptight over the little things in our relationship. It was one of those movie moments, where I turned around to kiss him....and then almost knocked him out. You see, the gumbo was still lingering. Turns out a little dead seafood in the teeth can smell a long way, and whatever "magical moment" was about to happen....didn't.
You've heard "don't sweat the small stuff" and other similar cliches. But in a lot of marriages, the little things are important. The "little things" can create big differences, big dissentions and become big obstacles. There are people in many marriages that have the "big" things right, but continually stay frustrated at the little things. If those little things fester for long enough, disaster awaits.
When my husband and I prepared to get married over 12 years ago, we took a compatibility test administered by our college pastor. We scored high in every way, and our minister said that he had never seen anyone on the same page spiritually as we were. I naively thought that because we were so in love with Jesus, and so similar spiritually, we would not have many problems, and that marriage would be easy for us. In some aspects, that is true. But for the most part, my husband Chris and I are in total agreement about the BIG issues of life, and completely opposite on the little things or how we naturally apply those big issues. Here are a few examples:
BIGGER ISSUE #1: We both like to be efficient.
For Chris, this means a schedule, to-do list, a plan for the day, and picking up clutter as we go along.
For me, efficiency means never making my bed because we'll mess it up in 16 hours. It means not taking cups of water off the dining room table because we'll be back in a few hours to drink again. It means not closing cabinet doors as I make my way around the kitchen, b/c I'm busy talking to someone and I'll be putting the item back sometime within the next hour. In my way of thinking, why waste extra seconds opening and closing a door twice?
BIGGER ISSUE #2: We like things clean and orderly.
For Chris, this comes out in routine and internal organization. Once when I was away on a trip, he rearranged the contents of the kitchen cabinets to "help" me out. I couldn't find a thing.
For me, cleanliness means having dirt out of the house and laundry done. I love a newly vacuumed floor, and could care less if toys are scattered through the living room. I order things in the cabinet based on whatever spot I find at the time to place a dish in. It's random to other people, but it's MY order.
BIGGER ISSUE #3: We think exercise is important, and want to be good stewards of our bodies.
When Chris exercises, he goes from point A to point B in the fastest time possible. He sets a goal at either a mile marker or a stop sign.
When I exercise, I run with the dog. We stop to meet other dogs and their owners. I might jog behind a kid's bicycle, stop at the store for some bread, chat with the neighbors on the way home. It's possible that I will have no idea how far I went, how long it took me, or what the time is, but I'm really happy about all that I accomplished on my run.
BIGGER ISSUE #4: We both want to be good stewards financially.
For Chris, this means weekly and monthly meetings. It involves spreadsheets and budgets and soooo much talking.
For me, it means only buying what I need. I see budgets as unncessary as long as one spends less than they make. The rest of the time I just want to have fun, and talking about budgets does not fit that description.
BIGGER ISSUE #5: We both appreciate beauty.
Chris finds beauty in asthetics. For example, when we drive in the car, he notices things. Actually, he notices EVERY...thing. From the giant hawk on the fence post to a gleaming sunset, or a mountain landscape to an amazing old building, a ride with him is a constant sightseeing trip filled with "Wow, did you see that!?" Flowers on the table? For Chris they are beautiful and alluring.
I find beauty in function. On one of our sightseeing trips, err, I mean rides somewhere, I just want to get there. I don't really notice that much because I'm daydreaming. At least he does most of the driving because now that I'm thinking about it, my driving habits could be pretty bad. And when it comes to flowers on the table? For me they block the view and are annoying. I'm pretty sure a kid is going to knock the vase over and create more work for me.
BIGGER ISSUE #6: We both like to be engaged at church, seminars, classes, etc.
For Chris, "engaged" means arriving early and sitting in the middle of the crowd. He is not just listening to the speaker--he is listening AT him. Chris is thinking critically, matching every word, phrase, expression with specific passages of Scripture, making sure the point of the text was communicated.
For me, I want to arrive 2-5 minutes late, survey the crowd, and sit in the back. I like to find people who are sitting by themselves. I am not a back-row Baptist, but I want to be in the back so I can see who is there and while the speaker is talking, I casually look around and get a sense of how the crowd is reacting. I wonder if the message is resonating. Did the speaker communicate the text in a way that applies to people of all situations?
BIGGER ISSUE #7: We enjoy clean comedy and laughing at movies or television.
For Chris, humor manifests itself by wit, plays-on-words, and cultural sarcasm.
For me, amusement comes through physical humor and facial expressions. Usually while one of us is doubled over laughing, the other is trying to figure out why he or she is laughing at something so stupid.
BIGGER ISSUE #8: We like to take walks or strolls together.
Chris walks along the sidewalks, like a good citizen.
I walk anywhere, because I think grass and dirt are God's created and preferred material for human feet. Once when I walked across a seminary yard, Chris was appaulled that I was walking across the institution's beautiful, bought grass. I was stunned at his assumption that grass was placed there to look pretty and not be walked on.
I can chuckle at these little things now, but when these differences are displayed in the mundane moments of life, the environment is ripe for an argument or misunderstanding. Sometimes our way of thinking or doing things is completely foreign to the other. My husband walks into the kitchen that I am working in and closes the microwave door that I am walking towards and about to use. We have trouble exercising together or getting on the same page financially. We appreciate in differing ways the beauty and hard work of another person, and struggle picking a place to sit at church, choosing a movie, or deciding where to walk.
Are any of these struggles similar to your marriage? I've described the problem, but do you sometimes finding yourself wondering what the solution is? In the next post, I will look at a little story in Scripture that makes a big difference in the way we view and carry out our marriages.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
HAVING CRAZY PARENTS DOES NOT EQUAL GOING CRAZY!!!
This is part 2. Part 1 can be found at:
http://tonyastales.blogspot.com/2012/05/help-my-parents-are-crazy.html
Here's how:
You will be tempted to concentrate on the ways your parent failed you. Train your mind to focus on how Jesus fills the gap. Psalm 27:10 "My father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in."
Look for the ways God changes and uses you when you feel short-changed.
Dwell on anything positive that you can. If you can't find redeeming qualities in your parent, think of what God can/is doing in your life in spite of them.
You are not responsible for your parent, you are responsible for your responses. Accept that you can not change them, and allow God to change you for His glory.
Not only it is okay to be angry, there are times when we SHOULD be angry. The bible says to "be angry and do not sin." When you choose to forgive, you release your parents from having power over you. You release them into the hand of God. If you continue to dwell on your parents' mistakes, you will continue to make more of your own. Only keep specifics in mind for the purpose of learning from them and not repeating the same sin patterns, or for being able to sympathize with the plight of others.
Do not be decieving. Do be discerning. Use discretion and not deciet when communicating.(Jonathan to Saul-- 1 Kings 14:1, 19:1-7, 20) Saul was one who would go into extreme moods and mental states, similar to bi-polar or manic depression. There were times that his son Jonathan withheld information from his father, not to punish, but to protect either the kingdom or his friend David. There are times when one has to seperate from parents, but keep protection and reconciliation in mind.
Don't give your parents a reason to disqualify you. 1 Timothy 4:12
While you can observe your parents' actions, don't judge your parents' motives. Seek to understand them.
Don't try to be your parent's Savior. Do pray for favor so you can point them to the Savior.
Do NOT rebel. Resolve yourself to learning how to navigate bad or imperfect authority. One day, you may have to be under other authorities that you do not agree with: spouse, boss, pastor, politician, etc
Extend the mercy to your parent that God has extended to you. (Matt 18:21-35) Your parent may not deserve mercy from you, but neither do you deserve it from a perfect Heavenly Father. You are able to give back not what others have given to you, but what God has given to you.
If your parents are too protective, remember they are seeing the most negative outcome while you are seeing the most positive. --Arliss Dickerson
Learn the Art of negotiation: Agree..Address..Alternatives. Agree to see things from their point of view, address the problem, and find alternate solutions.
Accept it if you can't connect on a heart level with your parent. Try to connect on SOME level--even if it's surface conversation.
Obey the Lord; submit (yield) to parents who still have authority over you. You have to master the Bible to know when you your parent's commands contradict your Heavenly Father's commands.
Seek to honor your parents, even when you can't or shouldn't obey them. It is the only commandment with a promise of blessing. (Ex 20:12, Deut. 5:16, 1 kings 14:43-45).
Honor their position even if you can't respect the person.
http://tonyastales.blogspot.com/2012/05/help-my-parents-are-crazy.html
Here's how:
You will be tempted to concentrate on the ways your parent failed you. Train your mind to focus on how Jesus fills the gap. Psalm 27:10 "My father and mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in."
Look for the ways God changes and uses you when you feel short-changed.
Dwell on anything positive that you can. If you can't find redeeming qualities in your parent, think of what God can/is doing in your life in spite of them.
You are not responsible for your parent, you are responsible for your responses. Accept that you can not change them, and allow God to change you for His glory.
Not only it is okay to be angry, there are times when we SHOULD be angry. The bible says to "be angry and do not sin." When you choose to forgive, you release your parents from having power over you. You release them into the hand of God. If you continue to dwell on your parents' mistakes, you will continue to make more of your own. Only keep specifics in mind for the purpose of learning from them and not repeating the same sin patterns, or for being able to sympathize with the plight of others.
Do not be decieving. Do be discerning. Use discretion and not deciet when communicating.(Jonathan to Saul-- 1 Kings 14:1, 19:1-7, 20) Saul was one who would go into extreme moods and mental states, similar to bi-polar or manic depression. There were times that his son Jonathan withheld information from his father, not to punish, but to protect either the kingdom or his friend David. There are times when one has to seperate from parents, but keep protection and reconciliation in mind.
Don't give your parents a reason to disqualify you. 1 Timothy 4:12
While you can observe your parents' actions, don't judge your parents' motives. Seek to understand them.
Don't try to be your parent's Savior. Do pray for favor so you can point them to the Savior.
Do NOT rebel. Resolve yourself to learning how to navigate bad or imperfect authority. One day, you may have to be under other authorities that you do not agree with: spouse, boss, pastor, politician, etc
Extend the mercy to your parent that God has extended to you. (Matt 18:21-35) Your parent may not deserve mercy from you, but neither do you deserve it from a perfect Heavenly Father. You are able to give back not what others have given to you, but what God has given to you.
If your parents are too protective, remember they are seeing the most negative outcome while you are seeing the most positive. --Arliss Dickerson
Learn the Art of negotiation: Agree..Address..Alternatives. Agree to see things from their point of view, address the problem, and find alternate solutions.
Accept it if you can't connect on a heart level with your parent. Try to connect on SOME level--even if it's surface conversation.
Obey the Lord; submit (yield) to parents who still have authority over you. You have to master the Bible to know when you your parent's commands contradict your Heavenly Father's commands.
Seek to honor your parents, even when you can't or shouldn't obey them. It is the only commandment with a promise of blessing. (Ex 20:12, Deut. 5:16, 1 kings 14:43-45).
Honor their position even if you can't respect the person.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Help! My Parents are Crazy!
I hope you are among the many who celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. But for some of you, the day comes with bitter emotion and mixed feelings. It is very hard to honor a parent that you don’t find to be an honorable person. If you are frustrated with your mother or father, you won’t find much sound biblical teaching on the matter. If you think you have a crazy parent, you are not alone, even though you may often feel like it. Strained parent/child relationships are one of the top reasons young adults find themselves in a counselor or minister’s office seeking spiritual help.
Can we, as the Church, admit that not every mother or father did their best job as a parent? Could some parents actually mean harm to their children, whether directly or indirectly? I want to take an honest look at some not-so-looked-at passages in the Bible and help those of you who have been deeply hurt by one or both parents.
Let’s look at the craziest parent ever mentioned in the Bible. 2 Chronicles 33:1-9 tells the story of the evil king Manasseh, who ruled in Jerusalem for 55 years. This king built all kinds of alters and temples to false gods as he worshiped both things that God created and evil spirits. The most horrific act is stated in verse 6: “[Manasseh] sacrificed his sons in the fire in the Valley of Ben Hinnom…” A father, created to protect his children, literally burned them as a sacrifice to the Baals.
You see, when a father worships Jesus, he will sacrifice himself for his children. But when a father like Manasseh worships other gods, he will sacrifice his children for his god. The problem in parent/child relationships isn’t necessarily the parent. Neither is the problem with the victimized child. There lies within this conflict a worship problem resulting in sin.
Maybe you’ve never seen a parent burn his or her child alive. Our alters are made of different materials, our gods harder to identify. If the parent’s idol is money, the child is sacrificed at the job alter and neglected by the work-a-holic. If the parent’s idol is sex, the child may very well be the victim of sexual abuse or rape. If the parent’s idol is control, the child is left with the blows of anger or manipulation. If the parent’s idol is soothed by alcohol or drugs, the child gets to experience neglect, abuse, etc. When the parent idolizes a favored child like Jacob did to Joseph, the rest of the siblings are lacking in the love, tenderness, and acceptance that a parent it supposed to give. When one’s idol is wrapped up in security and safety, the result is a controlling, over-protective parent. It would take pages to list all the idols. They come in many forms, in obvious and subtle ways, but all leave feelings of hurt and temptations towards all kinds of bitterness and malice.
Understand that anger, abuse, neglect, extreme work habits, misunderstanding, divorce, manipulation, & jealousy are NEVER the problem. These are the tragic symptoms of at least one parent’s worship problem.
What should you do if your parent has sinned against you? Look at what God does with Manasseh. In 2 Chronicles 33:10-13, the Lord Himself brings punishment to this evil king. God uses an army to attack Manasseh and take him prisoner, humiliating him to the point of distress. It just so happens that this is when Manasseh finally cried out the Lord and changed his ways.
I know it’s hard, but you have to let God punish your parents for their sin. He is the only one that can make a person repent. He is the only blameless judge and His justice is better than yours. You are not allowed to be the judge, lawyer, or executioner for your parents. You are not allowed to wallow in bitterness. You can pray that your parent meets the Lord BEFORE he or she dies. Either way your parent is responsible to God for his or her actions.
You have a choice to make. Will you follow in the ways of your earthly father like Manasseh’s son Amon? “[Amon] did evil in the eyes of the Lord…But unlike his father Manasseh, [Amon] did not humble himself before the Lord; Amon increased his guilt.” (2 Chron 33:22, 23) Will you continue patterns of control, anger, resentment, pride, and the like?
Or will you be like Josiah, Manasseh’s other son, who followed the way of the Lord? As young as eight years old, Josiah sought God, made wise decisions, and CLEANED HOUSE! When Josiah became king, he purified the land and repaired the temple of the Lord. ( 2 Chronicles 34:1-3, 8) Josiah is an inspiration, a young man who rebuilt what wicked men tore down, repaired the damage done by his ancestors, and experienced the Lord’s mercy in ways no one else in his family did.
Your parents can make you struggle, but they can not make you sin. Even if you find it hard to honor your earthly parent, make it a point to forgive and walk in new ways--thereby honoring your Heavenly Father.
For more practical help: see part 2: http://tonyastales.blogspot.com/2012/05/having-crazy-parents-does-not-equal.html
For more practical help: see part 2: http://tonyastales.blogspot.com/2012/05/having-crazy-parents-does-not-equal.html
Monday, May 7, 2012
My Secret to Freedom
Guilt was once my close friend. Worry was a constant companion. Depression was once my enemy that would rarely leave my company.
I can honestly say that I've waved goodbye to those emotions. Or at least, if they come to visit me, they are not welcome for very long. It almost feels prideful to say. I have never wanted to act like I have it together, because Lord knows I don't. But by God's grace I am not falling apart.
I once made statements all the time like: " I am not ______." or " I didn't _______." I feared failure the most. If women will listen to the statements that come out of their mouth, most will recognize these sentences that start with the word "I". And that is the problem. It is self-focus. They are holding to some standard that comes from themselves, others' expectations, or even the Bible. Yes, the Bible tells us the law that should be followed. The law was given to show that we can not fully follow it. The law is a guideline, but not our friend.
I replaced those statements with "Jesus is _________." and "Jesus did ________". I have trained my mind to stop making "I" statements and focus on "Jesus" statements. This miraculous thing happened: I started forgetting about myself. I laughed at my weaknesses. I looked at my sin square in the face and owned it. Peace started replacing my fear of failure. I started being okay with "not being good enough," because Jesus is good enough.
Here are some more examples:
"I can't finish anything."
"Jesus said on the cross that 'it is finished'."
"I need to get it together."
"Jesus holds it all together."
"I can't believe I did that."
"Jesus believed I would do that, so He died for it. I believe in Him."
"I am not a good mother."
"God is the perfect Father."
"I failed."
"Jesus succeeded."
"I can't do all that."
"Jesus did everything that needed to be done."
I believe that if you practice these statements habitually, you will find that the solution for the Christian is never "try harder". It is "train longer". Train your mind to put off the old way of thinking and put on the new.
I can honestly say that I've waved goodbye to those emotions. Or at least, if they come to visit me, they are not welcome for very long. It almost feels prideful to say. I have never wanted to act like I have it together, because Lord knows I don't. But by God's grace I am not falling apart.
I once made statements all the time like: " I am not ______." or " I didn't _______." I feared failure the most. If women will listen to the statements that come out of their mouth, most will recognize these sentences that start with the word "I". And that is the problem. It is self-focus. They are holding to some standard that comes from themselves, others' expectations, or even the Bible. Yes, the Bible tells us the law that should be followed. The law was given to show that we can not fully follow it. The law is a guideline, but not our friend.
I replaced those statements with "Jesus is _________." and "Jesus did ________". I have trained my mind to stop making "I" statements and focus on "Jesus" statements. This miraculous thing happened: I started forgetting about myself. I laughed at my weaknesses. I looked at my sin square in the face and owned it. Peace started replacing my fear of failure. I started being okay with "not being good enough," because Jesus is good enough.
Here are some more examples:
"I can't finish anything."
"Jesus said on the cross that 'it is finished'."
"I need to get it together."
"Jesus holds it all together."
"I can't believe I did that."
"Jesus believed I would do that, so He died for it. I believe in Him."
"I am not a good mother."
"God is the perfect Father."
"I failed."
"Jesus succeeded."
"I can't do all that."
"Jesus did everything that needed to be done."
I believe that if you practice these statements habitually, you will find that the solution for the Christian is never "try harder". It is "train longer". Train your mind to put off the old way of thinking and put on the new.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
How to Have Children and Keep Your House Clean
I might be the last person you would expect to be giving home management tips. Believe it or not, I am capable of getting my house to look immaculate. I've done it a time or two by following the tips that float around the internet. But I've noticed tidy experts are capable of helping you GET your house clean, not KEEP your house clean. Here are some things I've found (or dreamed) to make you look like a super-organized, put-together mother:
1) Never, ever, EVER, get a dog.
2) Act like you have to go to the bathroom. When your children follow you, lock them in the bathroom while you clean the rest of the house.
3) Weep uncontrollably to your husband until he feels so sorry for you and asks “what can I do to help?” Have the list ready to hand him.
4) Require your body to have 4 hours of sleep. It doesn’t matter if you need 8. Making yourself only get four hours of sleep will decrease your life span, de-stress your life, and allow you to meet Jesus earlier.
5) Throw every toy away.
6) Don’t tithe your money to the church. 10% of your income could be used to hire a maid service and chef--therefore boosting the economy. We all know that the economy is the most important thing in our country.
7) Sleep naked. Less laundry. Maybe there will be a fire in the middle of the night and your neighbors will call you in for indecent exposure. As a prison inmate, you’ll have all the time in the world to keep your cell clean.
8) Better yet, set your house on fire yourself. Then you will have nothing to keep in order.
9) Only wear bikinis during the day. Modest women have bigger loads of laundry.
If your wardrobe only consists of bikinis, your children will be embarrassed by you and never invite their friends over. Your own children will leave your house –their friends and them can make dirty foot prints at others’ houses and eat all of their food.
10) Get off the computer, iPhone, and all other devices that connect you to the outside world.
11) Why are you still at your computer?
12) Eat out for every meal. Don’t you know that cooking healthy meals for your family only creates further mess?
13) When your children pick up something that was once in its place, scream at the top of your lungs. Yell something like, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? STOP MAKING MESSES!! STOP BEING SO CURIOUS!” Eventually, the children can be trained like mice and will stop making messes because they fear their mothers.
I am not trying to diminish the art of home management. It's highly important. I know the women that are kind, calm, AND organized with their homes. They are few and far between, but I have been in their houses. I have stayed the night with them. They usually ask me stuff like, "what do you think about predestination and free choice?" I usually ask them stuff like: "OH MY GOODNESS!! How do you keep your paper clips and scissors in these handy compartments without yelling at anyone?"
While there are some people who choose to be lazy and let everything go, I think many women put too much pressure on themselves to get things looking good. It's important, but it's not the MOST important.
Well, I'm out of here. The children and I have more messes to make.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Houses and Spouses: God's Will in Decision-Making
I have a perpetual headache. That tends to happen to me when making decisions. My husband and I are looking for a house to buy, and it is taking a ridiculous amount of my mental and emotional energy. The thoughtful consideration is worth it, because the only other decision in life that is more important than choosing a house is choosing a spouse. I seem to have much experience in both categories so I thought I would share my decision-making wisdom with you. [For the record, I've had one spouse/multiple houses.] Whether finding a cottage, or starting a courtship, here are some crucial things to consider:
* Look at a variety of options. There are some things that take priority, and you have to know what you are willing to live without.
* Foundation is key: cosmetics can be changed.
* No amount of character can overlook some kinds of ugly. The ugliness doesn't change the value; it's just a job for someone else.
* Get your financial house in order before you drag others into your business.
* Some qualities are out of your price range. Get what you can afford.
* Meet in person before you get too attached. The on-line resume can be deceiving.
* Don't look for the perfect one. Look for the perfect one for you.
* Ask the neighbors questions. They know information that the home-owner (or potential spouse) may not tell you.
* Check the history. Remember what "was" is not as important as what "is", but provides important pieces to solve the mysteries that will come later.
* Gather your facts: all square feet are not created equal.
* Don't get intimate with your investment until there are legal signatures involved.
* Live together after you are committed, not before. That's the way it ought to work. In living together, you discover the quirks, learn the things that are in the wrong place, and remind yourself "for better, for worse."
Unlike houses, you don't cash spouses in when the walls come crashing in. I have found that if you experience multiple headaches before the decision, you experience multiple joys afterwards. The renovating and remodeling are the fun processes that come with commitment.
* Look at a variety of options. There are some things that take priority, and you have to know what you are willing to live without.
* Foundation is key: cosmetics can be changed.
* No amount of character can overlook some kinds of ugly. The ugliness doesn't change the value; it's just a job for someone else.
* Get your financial house in order before you drag others into your business.
* Some qualities are out of your price range. Get what you can afford.
* Meet in person before you get too attached. The on-line resume can be deceiving.
* Don't look for the perfect one. Look for the perfect one for you.
* Ask the neighbors questions. They know information that the home-owner (or potential spouse) may not tell you.
* Check the history. Remember what "was" is not as important as what "is", but provides important pieces to solve the mysteries that will come later.
* Gather your facts: all square feet are not created equal.
* Don't get intimate with your investment until there are legal signatures involved.
* Live together after you are committed, not before. That's the way it ought to work. In living together, you discover the quirks, learn the things that are in the wrong place, and remind yourself "for better, for worse."
Unlike houses, you don't cash spouses in when the walls come crashing in. I have found that if you experience multiple headaches before the decision, you experience multiple joys afterwards. The renovating and remodeling are the fun processes that come with commitment.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Forgetful Fool
Every parent has heard the dreaded words: "I forgot".
"Haven't I told you many times that you never hurt or hit your sister?"
"I forgot."
"The spanking spoon and I are here to help you remember."
My son is now 7 and doesn't forget nearly as often.
Forgetting is a sin that is rarely called a sin, and it is highly dangerous. A child can be told not to run into the street, but it only takes one forgetful moment for tragedy to happen. That is why the Proverbs remind children over and over to remember the words of wisdom they are given, by both their parents and the Word of God.
"Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth." Prov 4:5
Today is April Fool's Day. There is only one way to not be fooled on this holiday: remember what day it is. If you are always aware that it is April 1st, then you are skeptical of everything you hear and every status you read. But if you forget what day it is, then you'll believe anything and be made the fool.
Life is fun when it's pranks and jokes for one day. But as an adult, it is far more dangerous to forget the works of God throughout history and throughout one's life. God is always challenging us to remember. He told the Isrealites in Deuteronomy to watch themselves diligently, and not forget how God brought them out of slavery. When they entered the Promised Land, God knew that they would be tempted to become self-sufficient in all of their prosperity, and forget Who brought them into freedom by no works of their own.
Even though believers today have the Word of God at their disposal, to remind them of all that God has done, we forget. We doubt that He is really good. We doubt that He could love us despite our sin. We forget our freedom and enslave ourselves to all kinds of addictions. We forget how patient He is with us, and lash out at others. We forget His faithfulness and become afraid. We take our eyes off the cross and onto our performance, which in turn leads to pride or insecurity.
But God gives us reminders. He gives us the Holy Spirit to recall His Word to mind. He instituted the Lord's Supper to remind us of the Body that He crucified on our behalf. And we have an orderly calendar system to remember certain days of the year.
Today's a big day for me. 10 years ago today, my husband awoke to me crying in the bathroom. I was pregnant and not happy about it. He knew I wasn't playing an April Fool's joke, because I'm not that good of an actress to play the part of a woman in despair. It seems silly now, but at the time I thought having a baby was a bad thing for me--I was scared to death to be a mom and felt that life was completely out of my control!!!
Remembering my fear and how faithful God has been through these 10 years is good for me. I am currently facing other fears and other decisions that will affect much of the future. Life feels so out of control, in complete limbo. But life never was MINE to control in the first-place. And so I remember, this day, how silly I was years ago, and how I can see so much clearer 10 years later. That gives me perspective because the things I'm fearing today will seem silly 10 years from now.
When I remember who God is, I am skeptical of emotions that want to believe otherwise. When I remember the things God has done in my life, my fears are replaced with peace, even when the logical information isn't adding up. My prayer today is that the Lord will help my mind and emotions not make a fool of me, so I can press forward in faith.
"Haven't I told you many times that you never hurt or hit your sister?"
"I forgot."
"The spanking spoon and I are here to help you remember."
My son is now 7 and doesn't forget nearly as often.
Forgetting is a sin that is rarely called a sin, and it is highly dangerous. A child can be told not to run into the street, but it only takes one forgetful moment for tragedy to happen. That is why the Proverbs remind children over and over to remember the words of wisdom they are given, by both their parents and the Word of God.
"Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth." Prov 4:5
Today is April Fool's Day. There is only one way to not be fooled on this holiday: remember what day it is. If you are always aware that it is April 1st, then you are skeptical of everything you hear and every status you read. But if you forget what day it is, then you'll believe anything and be made the fool.
Life is fun when it's pranks and jokes for one day. But as an adult, it is far more dangerous to forget the works of God throughout history and throughout one's life. God is always challenging us to remember. He told the Isrealites in Deuteronomy to watch themselves diligently, and not forget how God brought them out of slavery. When they entered the Promised Land, God knew that they would be tempted to become self-sufficient in all of their prosperity, and forget Who brought them into freedom by no works of their own.
Even though believers today have the Word of God at their disposal, to remind them of all that God has done, we forget. We doubt that He is really good. We doubt that He could love us despite our sin. We forget our freedom and enslave ourselves to all kinds of addictions. We forget how patient He is with us, and lash out at others. We forget His faithfulness and become afraid. We take our eyes off the cross and onto our performance, which in turn leads to pride or insecurity.
But God gives us reminders. He gives us the Holy Spirit to recall His Word to mind. He instituted the Lord's Supper to remind us of the Body that He crucified on our behalf. And we have an orderly calendar system to remember certain days of the year.
Today's a big day for me. 10 years ago today, my husband awoke to me crying in the bathroom. I was pregnant and not happy about it. He knew I wasn't playing an April Fool's joke, because I'm not that good of an actress to play the part of a woman in despair. It seems silly now, but at the time I thought having a baby was a bad thing for me--I was scared to death to be a mom and felt that life was completely out of my control!!!
Remembering my fear and how faithful God has been through these 10 years is good for me. I am currently facing other fears and other decisions that will affect much of the future. Life feels so out of control, in complete limbo. But life never was MINE to control in the first-place. And so I remember, this day, how silly I was years ago, and how I can see so much clearer 10 years later. That gives me perspective because the things I'm fearing today will seem silly 10 years from now.
When I remember who God is, I am skeptical of emotions that want to believe otherwise. When I remember the things God has done in my life, my fears are replaced with peace, even when the logical information isn't adding up. My prayer today is that the Lord will help my mind and emotions not make a fool of me, so I can press forward in faith.
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