Though I'm not reluctant to talk about having 2 miscarriages, it's not a subject I bring up often. With Oct 15th being a day of remembrance for the little lives barely known by the world, I've been reflecting on the personal impact of carrying two tiny souls who never entered the light of day alive.
I didn't have names picked out. I hadn't had the time to dream for them or know if each was boy or girl. What I knew about one life was that he or she was deformed and lived for approximately 8 weeks before death in the womb. I took comfort in the truth I had learned from Ecclesiastes (4:3) that these children were fortunate to never know evil or experience the difficulty or oppression that living often brings.
My miscarriage experiences were practically and physically troublesome, but after weeks and months those issues were resolved. However, there were deep questions facing me that I just couldn't pass over. Where does life begin? Where do babies go when they die? What does a deformed fetus unrecognizably human look like if in Heaven? What is the point? If life is so hard anyway, isn't it better to be in eternity earlier rather than later?
I took further comfort in that a Bible character like David, believed he would see his infant children in Heaven. I marvel at the possibility of God interacting with people inside the womb (ex: John the Baptist). I delight that the Pslams say God knows those before they are formed, and that all bodily formation is changed and renewed when God finally brings full restoration to His creation. I just can not believe that even a short life is pointless, or only for the here and now. If we only live to die, there is nothing beautiful for the "formed but unborn".
My two beings made me wonder about what God does with the stillborn, unborn, and aborted. Are they souls? Does a part of them go somewhere for eternity? If ALL of them will be in Heaven, how big will Heaven be? And I can't get Matthew 7:13 out of my mind: "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many."
There's a strong biblical case that for this year alone, over 1 million aborted American babies, an estimated 13 million Chinese aborted babies, and at least 1/5 of all pregnancies that were terminated by miscarriage are now hanging with Jesus for the rest of forever. What does that mean for the those who are living right now? Statistically speaking, the odds are that those who actually have the ears to hear about God will never know Him. Chances are those with eyes formed to see are blind to the realities of Heaven and Hell. Just how wide is that destructive gate?
I believe that my body once held two current worshippers of Jesus and increased Heaven with a population of +2. I hope that in remembering them this day, you will consider which gate you are headed for. Matthew 7 is a sobering read that lets us know our own works don't get us to the place so many think they're going. I hope you'll join my babies at the narrow gate, and enter the door by trusting the work of Jesus.