Snapshot: Life in Campus Ministry

Campus ministry is a huge part of me and my husband's life.  Not everyone understands what my husband Chris does for a living, so I thought I'd share some of the incredible joys that come from working with college students.  Within the first three weeks of this Spring semester,  we've watched God move in their lives.  We've talked to students who are breaking addictions, getting out of unhealthy relationships, pursuing God-honoring relationships, and learning the Bible for the first time.  Students who have had little-to-no church background are hungry for someone to teach them--in fact, one learned that Jesus was God's son only a few short months ago.

Perhaps the most exciting part of Chris' job is mobilizing students to be on mission, to have lives that are not only healthy, but beneficial to the world and community.  I could tell several stories to illustrate this, but I want to focus in on a girl named Bree.  Meet Bree and hear her testimony:

"I came into college with no real religious thoughts in my head at all, except that I didn't like Christians because I was sure they were all just hypocrites. I had met a girl at orientation, and although she liked a lot of the same things I did, I was rather disappointed to find out she was a Christian. Before we really started hanging out, I told her that it was fine that she was a Christian, but that I would appreciate her not trying to convert me. I went to the BCM Freshman Survival Night with her because, hey, free food right? I didn't like it at all because I didn't fit in, so when {my friend} asked if I would go to the first worship service of the semester, I was...not so excited. Now looking back on it, I can see God working on that night in August 2011..... I found myself surrounded by people my age that were raising their hands in praise to songs that I could relate to, people that were there by their own choice. Wow! Chris spoke from Ephesians, and it was then that I was aware for the first time that I was dead in trespasses, and that I was walking in sin. So I made the decision that I needed God; I needed Jesus in my life!"

Exciting, right?  But God was not done. Bree wasn't content to sit on her salvation.  We got to watch her get baptized into a local church, and lead others into practical, life-changing ministries.  Last semester, Bree led a team of students on what they called the "Set Her Free" project.  They adopted an IMB OneLife initiative to help women trapped in sex slavery.  The project raised awareness of human sex trafficing and raised money that provided food, clothing, shelther and job training needed to free a woman from a life of modern-day slavery.  Imagine walking across your public institution to scenes like this:

Their goal was to raise $500 to change one woman's life forever.  At the end of the day, students not only collected $1000, but they had dozens of spiritual conversations with fellow students and professors.  People that didn't even believe in Christianity stopped to contribute and commended the group on living out their faith. 

 

I know there is a lot going on in our world that is concerning, alarming, frightening, or maddening.  But what I see nearly every day in the lives of students gives me hope that God is not absent at all.  Students like Bree are boldly finding innovative ways to make a difference by sharing the love of Christ.  She's only been a believer for a year-and-a-half, but is already making plans for long-term mission work in Asia by majoring in international studies.  I'm so glad that God is at work among our future leaders! 

 

 

Weeding out Mr. Wrong: how to dump a guy in 8 ways

What do you do with Mr. Wrong?  And do you even know how to identify him?

I’m not saying Mr. Wrong is an automatic, no-good scoundrel who needs kicked to the curb.  There's no reason to be mean or condescending with a man who’s just not the right guy for you.  I've known many women (myself included) who were flattered by someone they didn't like, but quickly floundered on how to say “no” to the offer of an unwanted date, get flustered about ending an unneeded relationship, or become frustrated by a man’s inability to take their hints and leave them alone.

Many sharp, goal-oriented, head-strong women suddenly weaken their will when it comes to men.  It is my desire to teach younger women what took me too long to learn: how to be a little bolder, a little more frank, much more witty, and much less naïve.  With that said, here are 8 practical ways to turn the wrong men away:

1) Give a "Compliment Sandwich".

Bread: Specifically name one or two good qualities about the guy.
Meat: Tell him you are not attracted to him in that way.
Bread:  Give him another compliment.

The reason this is so hard for women is because saying this requires honesty.  Honesty is hard for some women because it doesn't feel “nice”, but it is the kindest thing you can do for a man you don’t envision a future with.  Most of the time, guys do not want to be lied to, led on, or ignored--they just want the truth.

2)  "It's not me, it's you."

One of the best things that ever happened to me was the way one of my boyfriends ended our relationship. After dating for a while, he realized I was not the girl he could marry and told me why. He keenly pointed out a flaw in my character that would keep me from being a godly wife. He said it with respect, all the while affirming the good qualities about me. I appreciated his words and I worked on my shortcomings. Soon after that relationship, I dated my future husband who still benefits from my ex-boyfriend’s wisdom and honesty.

Don't tell a guy there is nothing wrong with him if there really is. What holds him back in life?  Why does he get rejected? It's appropriate and the most helpful thing you could do for his future spouse to let him know how to be a better man. Even if it hurts, most guys will benefit most from people who are honest with them. For example:

     * "I need someone more confident. I want someone who knows how to make decisions."

     * "You don't seem to know where you're going in life. I really don't want to be hanging around while you figure it out. But you have so many other awesome qualities, I'm confident you will be a great husband when you find your niche."

     * "I like to talk and you don't like to listen. It's just not going to work out."


3) Get a little personal.

A couple of years ago, I was hit on by a guy at the gym. He was the player type, and it was clear he had more muscle than he had job.  I mentioned my husband in our conversation, but that did not deter him. I talked about Jesus and he was still interested. But as soon as I mentioned the demands of 3 children, the difficulty of scheduling work-out time among their many appointments, and the fact I had 1 hour to get my kid's poop samples from my purse to the gastroenterologist (true story), he avoided me like the plague.

Most of you single ladies don't have children of your own in which to talk about.  So think about your cousins, nieces, nephews, or kids in the church nursery and take this little tip from Tonya: a man who is thinking about your body can not handle the mention of bodily excrements. A little discussion about puke, poop, and post-nasal drip will make even the "manliest" of men squirm and turn, leaving you with the satisfaction of a role well played.

4) Get the last word.

Though I believe this un-gentleman was playing around, I was once asked "How much?" and then given a dollar amount as if I would render my "services" for cash. This is the time to get snippy and witty ladies. Tell him plainly that he could never afford you. Then snap those fingers, let the Jesus Juke well up within you and retort, "Jesus already bought this body and it's not yours for the taking.” 

If you receive an ever-so-brash, indecent remark that comes unexpectedly, that is not the time to blush, be sheepish, or let a man get one over on you.


 5) "Let's not even be friends."

I have one friend who can't make a pursuer believe that she is not interested in him.  She has been blunt.  She has been offensive, but she does keep talking to him.  She replies to his text messages.  She told me the other day that the only option she has left is to tell him she is never speaking to him again, and that is exactly what she needs to do.

If you know a guy likes you, but you don't like him--watch the way you act around him.  Don't be too interested in his life.  Don't ask him lots of questions.  Be careful with your eyes--they speak volumes without uttering a word.  If you don't like a guy, don't look him in the eye.

6)  Have your standard in mind.

Mr. Wrong asks, "hey, you wanna go to dinner and a movie?"
Your reply: "well, I want to, but _____ ______ (insert name) has never asked me."

That statement is tongue-and-cheek, but no self-respecting man wants to be second-fiddle.  He will soon realize he is not the "one".


7) Ain't no kissin' til there's some committin'.

I am stunned at how many strong, able-bodied women turn to putty when a guy she’s not in a relationship with tries to kiss her. We all played dodge-ball as kids--use those skills ladies!!! Even if you are slightly interested in a guy, you should not let him "try you out" before he at least asks you out (Even then, be very careful how physical you get.  You'll have plenty of time once you're married.)  If this motto is not good enough for the guy interested in you, you can know for sure he does not have your best interests in mind.


8) Don’t cave, CHALLENGE!

I don’t think women ought to make it unfairly hard for a man to ask her out, but most women don’t hold men to a high enough standard.  Guys ought to be the initiators.  They ought to have a plan.  They ought to make their intentions known.  Do not answer “Hey, want to hang out sometime?” with an automatic yes, especially if you are not sure you really like him.  Ask him to clarify.  Ask him what he has in mind.  A girl I know was recently asked by a passive guy “so when are we gonna hang out?”  It may seem like a harmless, charming question, but that is the first sign of a man who is content to shift his God-given responsibilities to a woman.  If she is important to him, he can show forethought and intentionality. So I told her to respond with: “maybe when you get a plan together and ask me out on a real date.”

******************************* 

If the guy you know can’t step up to the plate after a confrontation or challenge, take heart my friends.  You don't have to worry or feel guilty when you leave him out in the cold--most waste management systems have curbside pickup.

Tough to Swallow

I was in the 8th grade when I noticed that I was a little different.  Sitting across the table from a classmate, I was memorized by the way she ate a pickle.  She put the pickle in between the front of her top and and bottom teeth, then bit it off effortlessly.  It dawned on me that day that most people chew with their front teeth.  Maybe this seems simple to you, but for me, something like a pickle or sandwich means a lot of work.   If I tear into a yummy sandwich like my peers, the only thing I can pull off into my mouth is the bread.  To devour something so simple as a sandwich means double the time at the dinner table, and a lot of contorting and manipulating of food with my back teeth.  If I want to talk a lot during public meals, I often order soup or something of an easier nature.

Around my college years, I was told that my lower jaw was underdeveloped.  Every dentist and hygienist will attest to how "tiny" my mouth is.  This is why eating is a chore, I often have TMJ problems, pain, sore jaws, etc.  Most of time, the pain is manageable and flares up at friendly visits to the dentist, weather changes, singing, and strenous activity like running and jumping. (Hence, my valid hatred for jogging.)   I've been told the only solution for me is a 2 year process including braces and a surgery that breaks my lower jaw to bring it forward, and tens of thousands of dollars that I never seemed to muster up.

Although my jaw structure affects a lot, I have learned to live with it.  However the older I get, the more problems it causes.  The sleep apnea I have experienced over recent years is getting the best of me, and would be corrected if oral things were in their proper place and not obstructing my airways.  I have always thought relief was out of the question: even if we came up with the money that was well over the average yearly salary, the spending was hard to justify for me considering there are so many people who live in poverty and I have all I need.  And how in the world would I take time off from my kids to have my head all bandaged up?

And then yesterday happened.  A college friend in the dental field has been studying and training to find better orthodonic solutions for people like me.  At his office, a specialist looked at me and for the first time defined my real problem and a do-able solution.  It turns out that my underdeveloped lower jaw is not a root cause of anything, but a symptom of something that happened in my first year of life.  I have a massive tongue thrust (his words) and I never learned to swallow correctly.  My incorrect swallowing habits have caused my entire mouth to form incorrectly.  When infants are nursed or bottle fed on their backs or laying sideways, they have to overcompensate with their tongue to keep from choking.  Most children self-correct by the time they are autonomous, but not me and many others.  Decades ago, there were not those helpful lactation consultants in the hospital training new moms and babies to get the eating thing done properly.  So yesterday, I learned WHY my mother had trouble nursing me.  I learned that "normal" people swallow with their teeth together.  When the specialist had me close my mouth tight and swallow, I gagged.  Yes friends, there is actually a medical reason my mouth stays mostly open :) It turns out that my ability to lay down flat in bed and drink liquids comfortably is not a special skill set.  It turns out this same swallowing malfunction is why we currently have our oldest daughter in braces, why she and I are the last ones to be sitting at the table, and why she has struggled with reflux from day one.  Furthermore, my daughter's reflux is influencing her asthma.

All this, because our tongues don't do what they are suppose to do.

Although I hate being physically analyzed and publicly announcing the insecurities it took me years to overcome, I want you to know for your own kids.  If caught early, this problem is a much easier fix.  Also, I figured that writing in one blog was easier than explaining what may be happening to me in the coming years.  There is a solution for me and I am so, so happy about it.  It will take about 3 years, but with braces, retainers, therapy of sorts, and exercises on my part, I will have a noticably different face.  The structure of my mouth and jaws will reshape.  My husband will feel like he's kissing a different woman.  I have to retrain the way I eat, drink, swallow, and breathe (you mean all of you people actually breathe through your NOSE?).

Perhaps the scariest part of this whole deal is that Lord willing, in a few years I will have a bigger mouth. :)  Now THAT is tough to swallow.

Problems: When We Can Bear them no More

I’ve been intensively reading through the Old Testament to get a better understanding of the whole counsel of Scripture.  The Old Testament disturbs me, but what I like about it is the variety of stories of God interacting with His people.  The Lord is creative and He doesn’t always do things the exact same way, but there are similarities with how He works in both the Old and the New Testaments.

One of the stories that troubles me most is in Exodus 5.  God had told Moses to confront  Pharaoh and tell him to release the Isrealites from slavery.  This made Pharaoh angry and he responds by giving more work to the Hebrews with less help from the Egyptians.   When the slaves can’t pull off the extra labor, the foremen are beaten.

This is the part I can hardly take, and neither could Moses.  Lash after lash, whip after whip imposed on the people of God because Moses obeyed the Lord.  The suffering is carried out by non-believers, but God let it happen, is primarily responsible, and let his prophet squirm: “Then Moses turned to the Lord and said, ‘O Lord, why have you done evil to this people?  Why did you ever send me?’” (vs. 22)  And this is the tension we see over and over in the Scriptures: God allowing and being directly responsible for the pain of His people.  There are four observations about this principle I’d like to make:

1).An individual will suffer intensely for a period of time because of a corporate purpose.

            I don’t like this but it’s true.  An individual Isrealite got beaten but his entire family got spared from slavery later.  In the New Testament, John the Baptist suffered in jail and by death.  Jesus didn’t go to His own cousin and save his life; instead He went about the town healing crowds and performing miracles.  And Jesus sent word to John in Luke 7:23 saying “blessed is the one who isn’t offended by me.”  Basically he said, “John, you are blessed if you still believe me even though I am physically take care of others instead of you.”  And to this day John the Baptist is an example to many who are hated by the world.  It only matters what Jesus thinks of a person, and of His imprisoned, dirty cousin He said “that’s the greatest man ever born.”

2) Suffering is meant to be temporary.

            There is a fascination these days among evangelicals who equate suffering and worthiness to be a disciple of Christ.  I have heard individuals and pastors pray that God would allow us to suffer in order to bring Him more glory.  In my opinion, these people do not know what they are asking.  They are actually trying to be better than Jesus.  When the Son of God faced the horrendous cross He basically said, “Father, if there is any way, get me out of this.  But ultimately let what You want be done and not what I want.”

            The truth is, we can’t physically undergo suffering on this earth for long periods of time.   We will either die or be relieved.  Jesus suffered horribly for a few days.  He lives in eternity with all the riches of Heaven.  Jesus only spent 33 years of His eternal life messing with our junk-- the rest of His life is posh!  Those who follow Him will mimic His pain but more so His pleasure.  My own prayer is not that God would “let” me suffer for His sake, but that I will be obedient no matter what wonderful or horrible circumstance comes my way.  Obedience is what brings God glory, not suffering.

3) God usually brings relief right after the sufferer hits despair.

            I’m sure it was not fun to be the Egyptians’ slaves.  Although not ideal, slavery was manageable because the Isrealites were provided with food, water, and shelter.  The work was burdensome, but they were physically able to get the jobs done.  Being beaten was nearly unbearable, so was the insurmountable amount of extra work that was laid upon them.  This is what drove them to cry out more.  And this is when the Isrealites went from crying out to God to crying against God.  When believers get to that point where they are tempted to question God’s work or if He cares, or if He’s timely and attentive, that’s usually the signal they will soon watch God do the impossible.  This happened in the New Testament with Lazarus’ sisters.  These sisters had just watched their brother die.  Jesus didn’t go to comfort them immediately or heal their brother on purpose.  He actually said, “for your sake I am glad I was not there.”  Jesus intentionally let His friends suffer so that they would believe His power to raise the dead. Jesus always has more than the physical stuff in mind.  He’s got a spiritual plan that He’s working.  Our breaking points will turn into our belief and proof if we will keep our eyes open to what God is doing.

            I don’t know why God does this but I just know He does: he often lets His people go without earthly needs and will only give to them when they ask.  The Isrealites complained over and over that God didn’t feed them in time, or give them water promptly.  But God said all they had to do was ask.  The New Testament confirms this.  James 4:2 “You do not have, because you do not ask.”  And if we aren’t getting what we ask for, maybe it’s because we don’t want to honor God with what we are asking for.  If all we want to do is consume, God is not obligated to contribute.  So we often spend our time complaining against God and arguing with other people.  Here’s the challenge: you need physical provisions so you can live?  Ask for them.  You want to be debt free so you can give?  Ask God.  Keep asking.  And keep obeying.  You want a God-glorifying marriage?  Ask for one.   But if all you want is to be pampered and treated like a queen while your husband does the work…well, good luck with that.  (What’s amazing is that even in a case where the marriage fails beyond one person’s control, God gets the glory by the one person’s obedience throughout the marriage.)
            Do you find yourself continually arguing with a family member, boss, co-worker or God?  There’s a way to get what you want, if you can look past your selfish ambition.  The first step out of an argument is asking:  God’s people need to learn how to ask and what to ask for.

4) In almost every believer’s life, there will be seasons of both protection and pain.

            Those individual beatings of the Isrealite foremen were the last incidences of oppression done by the Egyptian taskmasters.  After this incident, God sends a number of plagues—that ONLY affected Pharaoh’s people.  The Hebrews were in a protective bubble watching pests bother and destroy other parts of the land, hail and darkness cover the Egyptians property but not their own, others die while they lived, and being amidst the sick while they stayed healthy.  Our New Testament Paul discovered this and writes about it in Phil 4:12 “I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

And now for my big understatement: Suffering is hard.  There are a lot of questions I won’t have answered until Heaven.  But the Bible teaches me that there’s a story being written about each of our lives.  Bad stuff is going to happen.  More good stuff is going to happen.  And in my own story, I’m either going to crumble or carry on.  I’ll keep complaining or I’ll learn to be content in a God who is in control.  I will pout or I will persevere.  And when the end of my life draws near, I want to be one of the many who hear, “well done.  You didn’t give up on Me.”

How to Raise Smart Kids

I have been hesitant to write this blog because people could easily misunderstand me. In order to write something with this title,” I  

1) claim to have smart kids

2) have the audacity to tell other parents how to produce intelligent children

But that’s exactly what I’m proposing. You can put your Baby Einstein videos away and stop worrying about the best academic program to put your child prodigy in. This blog is the last thing you will ever have to read for your future valedictorian, engineer, businessman/woman, lawyer, doctor, teacher, advocator, or minister.

I’m not going to tell you how to make your kid the smartest.  We seem to have an obsession in our culture with being the best. This information is not to teach you how to make your kids better than mine, because of course, that would undercut my personal goals. I’m passing on what the Bible says about raising intelligent and capable future leaders.  James 3:13-16 says:

“Who is wise and intelligent among you?  By his good conduct let him show his good works in the meekness of wisdom.  But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth.  This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.  For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”

How do you raise smart kids?  The question for most Christians parents I know is not “how do we make our kids even smarter?” The question we need to be asking ourselves is “how do we make our kids better servers?”  Most of the people I know have some smarties in their family. We’ve got to teach our kids not to use their God-given capacities for selfish ambition.  Our kids can compete.  They should maximize their skills.  They should grow in all areas of their lives like Jesus did. (Luke 2:52)  But they should do so to further open opportunities to serve others and bring glory to God—not themselves.  Their intelligence should not only be displayed by their test scores, but by their good behavior, which proves they love God and other people.  Their actions should be carried out in meekness (strength under control).  And if a peer beats them out in a race or competition, we need to teach our children how to be happy for others’ success.  Because jealousy is demonic.  Jealousy threatens the unity of believers.  Jealousy keeps us from “weeping with those who weep” and “rejoicing with those rejoice.”  Jealousy is what Lucifer felt when he got himself kicked out of heaven.  In short, jealousy is stupid.

Christians, let’s not raise stupid kids.  The smartest, most intelligent people use their brain power to gain wisdom and produce good works that benefit the world, not just themselves.

"Hey Mom, did you ever......?"

Thanks to comments made by people who have known me for a long time, my oldest daughter has had a curious interest in my teenage life before her Daddy.  Some of my life mishaps between the ages of 16 and 19 are down-right hilarious (now but not then).   I've got plenty of crazy stories, but there are some I’d rather not tell my own children.  I wish I would have treated others more kindly, made better decisions, and not entangled myself with certain people or fleshly desires. 

When our children ask us about the realities of the past, we have questions of our own to quickly wade through.  Will we tell them or will we not?  Will they use our mistakes as excuses to make more of their own?  Will they respect us less once they find out we didn’t always live up to the standard we hold them to?

A year ago, my kids learned that I spray-painted my uncle’s wall as a child.  They were stunned I would do such a thing, but that didn’t make them want to graffiti our own home.  That experience helped motivate me to be honest with them.  I have decided to freely talk about my own mistakes/sins to my kids in the appropriate times and to the extent that they can maturely understand them.  Here’s why:

1)      They need to see why Mommy needed a Savior.

2)      I want them to see with their own eyes how God works through imperfect people.

3)      I do not want to set an example of being shackled by shame.

4)      I’m expecting the end of my life to be better than the start.

5)      WHEN my kids mess up, I want them to know who to talk to.  Their imperfect mother will understand how to come to the Lord, ask forgiveness, correct mistakes, make restitutions and better decisions the next time.

This week, I’ve learned that friends and family members with good memories are a two-edged sword.   I would like to think better of myself than I really was. But no—they have the stories to prove otherwise. While their recollections are a pain, I’m glad those relationships are in my life to keep me humble and real. I’ve also come up with a great parenting philosophy that I will continually speak to my children:

“Kids, do as I do, not as I did.”

Guilt: One Mother's Story

I sat across the restaurant table from my precious sister-in-Christ rejoicing about her new-found life in Jesus while simultaneously grieving about the pain she had to work through.  “Jane” had become a Christian just a few short months ago, and I counted it a privilege to have a front-row seat to her journey of faith and freedom.  “You know,” she contemplated with tears in her eyes, “I know I’m forgiven.  I can accept that for most of the things I did.  I’m not proud of being a waitress at a topless bar, but I can get over that.  But there’s this one image I can not get out of my mind.  One night, my husband and I were wasted on the couch.  My son stood at the top of the stairs yelling ‘Mom! Dad!  Feed me!!!  I’m starving!’   Tonya, I wouldn’t even feed my children.  I did not care.  There were so many days my kids were left to fend for themselves, making themselves ramen noodles while I fed my own drug addiction.  I can not forgive myself.”

What do you say in a scenario like that?  The darkness is evident—no right-thinking mother wants this to happen to her children.  How do you get over this guilt?  One doesn’t forget these types of things--that image will linger in her mind for years to come.  But it doesn’t have to haunt her forever.  Here are some ways to work through the sins we’ve committed that carry huge life consequences.

1.)    Rejoice that you now see clearly.

          Jane did not feel guilty when she actually WAS guilty.  The very fact that she can now feel guilty is a sign that she can finally see the difference between right and wrong.  Her conscience is no longer seared; she has moved from “dark” to “light”.

2.)    Understand what controlled you then and now.

          In Jane’s case, she was controlled by drugs.  They overpowered her every decision.  Now, she is empowered by the Holy Spirit.  As she continues to walk in the Spirit, she will yield to a different Master who will teach her love, mercy, service, kindness, and self-control.

3.)   Stop trying to forgive yourself.

           The reason so many people have trouble forgiving themselves is because the Bible doesn’t tell us to.  We are to accept God’s forgiveness that He extends to us, accept forgiveness from those we’ve wronged, and then extend that same mercy to others.

4.)    Use guilt as your motivator.

Guilt is useful as a safeguard and indicator, as I discussed earlier.  But once the damage is done, we can not repay what has been lost.  We can’t “make-up” for sin.  In Jane’s case, she doesn’t now need to feed her kids whatever they want whenever they want, buy them excessive toys to make up for her past neglect, or excuse any bad behavior now or in the future.  She needs to use that past life as fuel for the next life, like Paul did.  When someone carries out the desires of her flesh, she will neglect and abuse even those that she loves.  How much more motivated then, should we be to carry out the commands of the life-giving Word of God?  I told Jane to keep that image of her son on the stairs.  Next time she wants to fall down in depression over past transgressions, she can use that image to remind her of how she really needs to be nourishing her children.  “Your children will never be able to articulate their need for spiritual food like they can physical food.  But when the soul is neglected, this is the type of desperation our kids feel.  Feed them Jane.  From here on out, teach them the Bible.  Teach them about God.  Teach them about Jesus’ forgiveness and freedom and that we no longer have to be slaves to the things of the world.  Feed your kids the love and mercy that God has given you.”

I can happily say that Jane did and she does.  As she would read the Bible to her kids, it would be the first time that she had read it for herself.  Occasionally she’d email or call because a passage blew her mind, or a kid asked a question that she didn’t know the answer to.  Jane’s questions about God and the Bible taught me so much, and challenged me to find good answers to complicated passages.  She was reading and learning with fresh eyes and a curious spirit.   She once felt the heavy weight of condemnation, but is now motivated to live a God-centered life where the “yoke is easy and the burdens are light.”